A Cappella Crossword

Oh, Bugger All...

It seems that the gaming industry is once again following the tried and true maxim of Hollywood and the United States government: "If at first you don't succeed, throw in more money."

Apparently Sierra is following up on the steaming pile of skunk excrement known as 50 Cent: Bulletproof with a next-gen sequel, 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand.

At this point I hardly expect that Mr. Cent will have to die trying in his quest to get rich, and neither will Sierra. White suburban teenagers in FUBU jackets will fly to this game like Eliot Spitzer to a brothel, only to sell it back to Blockbuster or Game Crazy like the dried-up whore that it is. The only people who won't get rich in this whole deal are said white teenagers, who will get a quick cheap thrill before realizing that they're wallets were stolen when they were asleep. Then they'll go to Gamespot or IGN to
vent their impotent frustrations.

Okay, I'll quit beating that metaphor. Prediction: This game will suck, but it will rake in tons of cash while quality titles are ignored. I'm against almost all regulations, but I wish that the industry would at least put some sort of moratorium on celebrities in games.

GTA IV - Why I (Sort of) Don't Care

I'm sure that on April 29th people will be murdering each other to get a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV, and with good reason: GTA is one of the few gaming franchises that has never disappointed. Every version has always been an improvement over the last, if we don't count the portable spin-offs, and it's always fun to play the bad guy. After all, who hasn't played even so innocuous a title as The Sims without doing something evil? It's fun.

I won't be waiting in line, though. First of all, the damn game is going to sell out at every retail store on the planet within two minutes, and they won't restock it for at least a month. This was my experience with both Vice City and San Andreas. It's like trying to see a long-awaited movie on opening night. Why bother fighting the crowds when you can just wait a few weeks and get the exact same product? I'm sure I'll buy it at some point, because it probably will be awesome, but I see no reason to be trampled in the process.

This is just one example of how stupid the hype around this game is. It's every bit as stupid as the Halo edition of the 360. Seriously, are these things going to become collectors' items one day? They're electronic gizmos. It doesn't matter if it has a fancy decal for an extra hundred dollars, because we all know that the thing will be obsolete in a few years anyway. My 360 is the old white model, and it works just fine without any customization. My only complaint is that I bought it before it came with an HDMI output, but that's just another example of how good Microsoft is at screwing things up and pissing off customers. (How did this Gates guy become the richest man in the universe again?)

Count me out. I have enough games to last well into summer, when all this will die down. That being said, here is some footage from the first GTA and the latest to show just how far we have come in only a few years. I can't say I'm not just a little excited.

Then:

And now: